Australia, now with dual-cyclone power!

Never worry about emptying your dustbag ever again with the new model of Australia, with 'Dual Cyclone Power!'. Most probably because your dustbag, hoover, living room and entire house have been blown away.

Yes that's right folks, the northern end of Western Australia, and most of the Northern Territory is currently getting the stuffing kicked out of it by cyclone 'George' and cyclone 'Jacob'. The gruesome twosome are having a ball up there, wrecking towns, smashing up ships, upsetting peoples hair and generally doing cyclonic things. (That Dyson bloke has a lot to answer for)

Luckily for me, I'm enjoying a serendipitous pit-stop in Perth. (That's at the southern end of Western Australia) I'm pretty much back where I started before I embarked on this adventure, once again staying with friends in Armadale just south of Perth city centre.

I'll be here for a couple of weeks I should imagine, for three main reason (and now the added fourth of there being cyclones in the way of my expedition. Bloody nature!)

Reason one: Bike don't go nowhere without fuel; and the money in my fuel account has gone. Erm...into the fuel tank (and possibly on a few pies). So I've stopped to do some work to top that up a bit.

Reason two: Bike also don't go nowhere if it falls apart. I'll be taking this opportunity to fix a few minor problems that have cropped up with the mechanical workings, and generally do a full on service. Things like adding 'barkbusters' to protect the levers in case I drop the bike; not that I'll be doing that of course. Along with other things like sorting out valve clearances, changing the oil and replacing the 'cush drives'. (which are apparently not a bad 80's cover band as I originally thought) Can't say I know for certain how to do everything that needs doing, but I've got half an instruction manual and a set of spanners; what could possibly go wrong?

Reason three: It's still too wet up north at the moment, and many of the tracks I plan to take are still under water. A week or so more and it should be dry enough to proceed up north, sans-waterwings.

Reason four: Big, big, swirly, whooshing things. (See map above)

So once all those 'reasons' have been sorted out, I shall be continuing up the western coast of Australia and round, over the top and on!

The trip around the south-western section of Western Australia was fairly uneventful. In fact there isn't really that much to write about at the moment. There were some fairly nice towns I stopped in, places like Margaret River. I'm sure you could have a fantastic time there if you liked drinking wine, were there for a week and had a stack of cash. As I fulfilled none of those three criteria, I didn't really find much reason to linger in most of the towns.

Just off the bike, hot, sweaty, smelly and with hair to make a scarecrow blush. It's a wonder I don't get swamped by hoards of gorgeous women more often really.

Once again ended up in some nice camping spots, mostly scattered throughout the National Parks that were conveniently placed on my route. Got lost for about two hours in the 'Leeuwin Naturaliste' National Park. Bounced around on a sandy track for most of that time, only to realise it took me on a big loop back round to where I'd started. Where I discovered that a car had parked across the sign which pointed me in the direction of the campsite. Turned out the site was all of five minutes from the main track. Curses! Still, I got to see most of the national park at least.

Lost? Moi?! Why yes, actually...

That's about it for now. Coming soon (with any luck), will be an actual front-page to www.arseaboutface.com. Hopefully it'll lend a bit of credibility to my fund-raising efforts, and get some more donations rolling in. Also coming soon (I swear!), is a proper photo gallery with a nice big selection of photos.

Watch this space. {------} <----That space right there, go on watch it...I dare you.

A smattering of pictures for you:

The Albany Wind Farm. Pretty and also environmentally friendly.

The worst road surface in the world; like trying to ride on marbles. At least I imagine that's what it's like, not ever having ridden on marbles.

I'm not usually in a position to criticise someone else's mangling of the English language, but this one was special. I love a distinguished fire me.

Desert? I'd rather have a dessert thanks very much...

I've come to the conclusion that there isn't a great deal of point to writing a great long post about crossing the Nullarbor Desert, because, well... there isn't that much to write about. It's long, VERY long, and also incredibly dull.

(You can click any of the pictures for a bigger version, supposidly)

I got myself suitably energised before setting off on day one however:

Mmmm, caffeine. Let's go, time to goo, woo...

Which generally led to most of the first day being a caffeine induced bender, something akin to playing a video game, only without the comfy chair and cup of tea.

There were a few opportunities to get off the highway and view a few sights, such as the Great Australian Bight. Or as I have now come to know it, the 'Great Australian Blight' (of flies). I also got the chance to play stormtrooper in the desert at the ruins of the Eucla Telegraph Station:

These aren't the droids you're looking for...

At a place called 'Belladonia' there was a dotted line marked as 4WD only, which cut across the 'Arid National Park', and down towards Esperance. This effectively was an alternative route to my destination. Being 1WD I figured I could probably make it. Standing up on the footpegs after sitting down for the last 1200KM was certainly a welcome relief!

Yes, something rattled itself off, no it wasn't serious. :D

The 'Belladonia Track'

Just east of Belladonia is the 2nd longest straight stretch of road in the world, or something like that. Not that you'd notice, it's just like the rest of the highway. Although, just my luck...roadworks! On the longest bit of straight road, it appeared to me as though they were installing a corner, just for a bit of laugh.

Longest straight bit of tarmac I ever want to see

Installing a corner, just for shits 'n giggles...

Mind numbing, arse numbing and a lot of other numbings to boot. That about sums up the journey really. Still, I'm back in Western Australia baby. Woo!

Extra piccies from the first couple of days:

My camping buddy for day one on the road

Lawrence of Arabia ain't got nothin' on me...

My kingdom for a physio...

Quick, call me a physiotherapist!

First person to leave a comment reading "You're a physiotherapist" gets a slap if I'm ever actually able to raise my arms again. :)

Just a quick one this time to report a successful traverse of the umpteen-million-squillion kilometres that is the Eyre Highway. Once again I am unable to upload pictures at the moment, as they have apparently only just discovered the wheel here in Esperance. But rest assured they are on the way!

I'm currently stuck with walking a bit like John Wayne as pretty much everything aches. Especially the posterior. Battling silly winds, immense trucks (and truckers) and various other unpleasant things, left the old body a tad worn out.

Thanks to all that have donated so far. It all goes straight to MSF, so don't think I'm running around spending it all on pies or anything like that.

I'm off for a bit of a lie down...

Give me your money, or else...

... you'll probably spend it on something you don't really need anyway. Actually it's not me that's after it, it's MSF or Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders, to my American friends)

I'm about to cross the Nullarbour Desert over to Perth, and I realised it would be a shame not use the Perth to Perth, complete loop of Australia to try and do some good. So if you can spare any cash then please feel free to use the donation facility located at www.justgiving.com/arseaboutface, or the one on the right hand side of this site. Big hugs to everyone that manages to donate. Don't feel any pressure though, just because I'm out here going 35-40,000km round Australia while you're all tucked up and cosy in front of the telly, no pressure, no pressure at all.... :-P

The main update is below, written while I was still in Tasmania. It's got lots of pictures, so for those with a short attention span, you shouldn't get too bored.

I'm now in a place called Port Pirie just north of Adelaide, preparing to cross the Nullarbour Desert. On the route over here (mostly where I had already been after heading west initially), I managed to dip into the northern end of the Grampians National Park again, which was great.

The Grampians National Park again.

I also managed to link up with the people I spent the Christmas period with on Kangaroo Island, so this is just a quick message to them. Steve, Dave, Debs and Lexley thanks once again for all your help and hospitality, I'll be back when something else falls off the bike!

Dave was kind enough to assist me in servicing Gosling One, he also happens to have a rather spectacular garage full of shiny, shiny crotch rockets.

Clearly my bike is the most stylish and expensive :-D

That's about it for now. I'll be going 'Mad Max' for a bit while I cross the desert to Perth, but with any luck I'll be able to avoid the Toecutter and the rest of his daggy gang mates.