Desert? I'd rather have a dessert thanks very much...

I've come to the conclusion that there isn't a great deal of point to writing a great long post about crossing the Nullarbor Desert, because, well... there isn't that much to write about. It's long, VERY long, and also incredibly dull.

(You can click any of the pictures for a bigger version, supposidly)

I got myself suitably energised before setting off on day one however:

Mmmm, caffeine. Let's go, time to goo, woo...

Which generally led to most of the first day being a caffeine induced bender, something akin to playing a video game, only without the comfy chair and cup of tea.

There were a few opportunities to get off the highway and view a few sights, such as the Great Australian Bight. Or as I have now come to know it, the 'Great Australian Blight' (of flies). I also got the chance to play stormtrooper in the desert at the ruins of the Eucla Telegraph Station:

These aren't the droids you're looking for...

At a place called 'Belladonia' there was a dotted line marked as 4WD only, which cut across the 'Arid National Park', and down towards Esperance. This effectively was an alternative route to my destination. Being 1WD I figured I could probably make it. Standing up on the footpegs after sitting down for the last 1200KM was certainly a welcome relief!

Yes, something rattled itself off, no it wasn't serious. :D

The 'Belladonia Track'

Just east of Belladonia is the 2nd longest straight stretch of road in the world, or something like that. Not that you'd notice, it's just like the rest of the highway. Although, just my luck...roadworks! On the longest bit of straight road, it appeared to me as though they were installing a corner, just for a bit of laugh.

Longest straight bit of tarmac I ever want to see

Installing a corner, just for shits 'n giggles...

Mind numbing, arse numbing and a lot of other numbings to boot. That about sums up the journey really. Still, I'm back in Western Australia baby. Woo!

Extra piccies from the first couple of days:

My camping buddy for day one on the road

Lawrence of Arabia ain't got nothin' on me...

My kingdom for a physio...

Quick, call me a physiotherapist!

First person to leave a comment reading "You're a physiotherapist" gets a slap if I'm ever actually able to raise my arms again. :)

Just a quick one this time to report a successful traverse of the umpteen-million-squillion kilometres that is the Eyre Highway. Once again I am unable to upload pictures at the moment, as they have apparently only just discovered the wheel here in Esperance. But rest assured they are on the way!

I'm currently stuck with walking a bit like John Wayne as pretty much everything aches. Especially the posterior. Battling silly winds, immense trucks (and truckers) and various other unpleasant things, left the old body a tad worn out.

Thanks to all that have donated so far. It all goes straight to MSF, so don't think I'm running around spending it all on pies or anything like that.

I'm off for a bit of a lie down...

Give me your money, or else...

... you'll probably spend it on something you don't really need anyway. Actually it's not me that's after it, it's MSF or Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders, to my American friends)

I'm about to cross the Nullarbour Desert over to Perth, and I realised it would be a shame not use the Perth to Perth, complete loop of Australia to try and do some good. So if you can spare any cash then please feel free to use the donation facility located at www.justgiving.com/arseaboutface, or the one on the right hand side of this site. Big hugs to everyone that manages to donate. Don't feel any pressure though, just because I'm out here going 35-40,000km round Australia while you're all tucked up and cosy in front of the telly, no pressure, no pressure at all.... :-P

The main update is below, written while I was still in Tasmania. It's got lots of pictures, so for those with a short attention span, you shouldn't get too bored.

I'm now in a place called Port Pirie just north of Adelaide, preparing to cross the Nullarbour Desert. On the route over here (mostly where I had already been after heading west initially), I managed to dip into the northern end of the Grampians National Park again, which was great.

The Grampians National Park again.

I also managed to link up with the people I spent the Christmas period with on Kangaroo Island, so this is just a quick message to them. Steve, Dave, Debs and Lexley thanks once again for all your help and hospitality, I'll be back when something else falls off the bike!

Dave was kind enough to assist me in servicing Gosling One, he also happens to have a rather spectacular garage full of shiny, shiny crotch rockets.

Clearly my bike is the most stylish and expensive :-D

That's about it for now. I'll be going 'Mad Max' for a bit while I cross the desert to Perth, but with any luck I'll be able to avoid the Toecutter and the rest of his daggy gang mates.

A devil of a tale...

Three weeks round Tasmania and only a single blog update, all my loyal readers (all three of you) have my heartfelt apologies. Although in my defence, internet access over here costs a kings ransom, and I had an expensive couple of days to begin with.

Allow me to elaborate...

As soon as I rolled off the ferry, I rolled straight into (not literally) the local Yamaha dealership in order to get the drive chain replaced on Gosling One.

Ahhhh, sparks! Get that man away from my beloved bike.

The original was doing a passable impression of an elastic band, stretching... a lot. So to head off a snapped important thing, I erred on the side of caution and got the pros to sort it out.

No sooner had I set off with my shiny new chain, than the fork seals on the front suspension decided to blow. For the non-technical like myself, that meant that what should be inside to forks started to come out, leading to a very rough and bouncy return trip to Devonport. An enforced stop over for a couple of days saw that little problem set right, and I was finally able to get under way properly, albeit with a substantially lighter wallet.

So, not to go into too much detail (because people would get bored and wander off), I did a big anticlockwise loop around Tasmania, almost a microcosm of my trip-to-be around Australia. Starting with the North and West coasts, I headed south to the most southerly navigable road in Australia (next stop Antarctica), up the east coast and then back through the middle to Devonport again.

Found some great out of the way camping spots, and also some fairly hair-raising 4WD tracks that tested my new suspension to the limit. I fell foul of the local wildlife at one of my camps on the west coast, with something furry making off with one of my sandals in the night. I'd like to think it was a Tasmanian Devil that needed to use it for surfing or somesuch thing. Makes me look a right gooseberry hopping round the beach on one sandal though.

Medic! My trousers are on fire.

One such route was the interestingly named 'Crabtree Track', just down south of Cradle Mountain near a place called New Norfolk. You would have though the sign at the start of the route stating that it was a track for 4WD vehicles during dry weather only, would have put me off. But not me, I laugh in the face of such warning signs...also I'm a bit of an idiot.

I like mud, me. Good for the skin.

Where the route was level it was fairly easy to weave in and out of the ruts and around the larger boulders. Where it got a bit more interesting was the ascent up the side of a mountain (and I'm talking steep), where the weight on the back of the back actually probably helped; and the descent down said mountain, where the weight on the back definitely did not help at all!

For correct operating procedure, please return to upright position

The track leading down was washed out by rain water, strewn with really rather large boulders and edged with slippery gravel and smaller rocks. This led to a slow and teeth clenched descent in first gear, with the rear wheel locking up most of the time as I tried to stop the bike running away down the hill. Of course, inevitably it went wrong. Although just the once! A bout of swearing, a few bruises and one hell of a workout picking up the bike on that slope later, and I was out! Felt rather chuffed with myself I must admit.

On checking the odometer whilst gathering my shattered nerves together at the bottom, it turned out I had covered about 24km in about 2 hours! Definitely an interesting, if not speedy route to take.

Feeling pleased with myself I took a bath in the River Mersey as I was passing.

Lather, rinse repeat.

Just try doing that in the UK version of the same river, you'd probably bounce off the surface.

So, during my time in Tasmania I checked out all the standard tourist type attractions, including the famous Cradle Mountain. I have to admit that it registered as a "Meh!" on the 'awe-inspirement scale', as did the 'Bay of Fires'. I found the west coast, with it's lack of specific attractions far more interesting and a lot more rugged.

Met some great people along the way, including my new friends Ramon and Merel. Big 'shout out' to them if they happen by and read this, we had a nice little trek out to visit 'Wineglass Bay' on the Freycinet Peninsula. If you can read Dutch, check out their blog at: http://members.home.nl/ramonbeschi

Apparantly I look like a 'dirty stormtrooper' Pretty close I reckon.

Nice view eh? The one behind us isn't bad either. (Wineglass bay)

I also met my first live snake since being in Australia. Which to date makes three, count em three in total. All were Tiger snakes, so named because they can scare the bejesus out of tigers, they're that 'ard. Not really, but apparently they're ludicrously poisonous, and not at all scared of me it would seem.

Snake, snake ooooh it's a snake. (No badgers though, I think the snake ate them all)

I'd also like to mention that in true Australia summer behaviour, it snowed yesterday for about 15mins as I was riding back towards Devonport via the Central Plateux region. Seriously, it was so cold i've only just today started to get some feeling back in my fingers. Nothing like a bit of variety to keep you on your toes!

Jumping on the ferry tonight back to Melbourne, then it's west for me, over towards Adelaide, the Nullarbour Desert and Perth.

So, to sum up my time in Tasmania I present a little selections of images, as I've probably written enough for now. (anyone still reading this?)

Enjoy! (No sniggering at the back)

Warning signs? Pah! I laugh in the face of warning signs!

Look at me, look at me! Vrooom, crunch!

Taking a break at Lake St Claire, Tasmania

Wildlife, thieving bastards the lot of 'em.

The Gordon Dam, bloody high up and also bloody windy. (Not the dam itself of course, but the area in general)